The stony stare of Pierluigi Collina has struck fear into the world's hardest footballers.

The piercing blue eyes that say: "I'm a bit tasty and I'm liable to explode at any second" have sent the game's most notorious prima-donnas, cheaters and ankle-biters crawling away with a whimper.

But the fearsome Italian's weak spot has been revealed.

Players who normally kick each other will be kicking themselves. All they needed was the simplest, most obvious comeback of all: "Leave it out, baldy."

The most famous bald head in football became filled with rage after Italian TV's 'football oscars' featured a spoof advert that made fun of his lack of hair.

In the cheeky ad, broadcast by Italian state television channel RAI, viewers were urged to buy "Collina Hair Lotion".

One can only imagine what hilarity ensued, but in the Collina household the gag went down like a ginger toupe.

He told the Gazzetta dello Sport: "To use irony is all right but to offend the feelings of people with problems is not on."

Collina lost his hair within 15 days when he suffered from alopecia as a 24-year-old.

He believes the spoof ad is offensive to fellow sufferers.

"For a young lad, to feel he is having the 'mickey' (shouldn't that be 'michel'?) taken out of him is not very nice."

Fair point. But has having a head like a cue ball done Mr Collina any harm?

On the contrary, it has made him a star.

The man who was known for years as 'that bald ref' is now regarded as the world's greatest official.

He is a cult figure in his homeland and has collected more gongs for his work than Tom Hanks.

And then there's the women...allegedly.

Would that really be the case if he looked like Philip Don?

Of course not. The bald truth is that most referees have as much charisma as a dead cat.

Up against this competition, Collina comes out looking like James Brown.

And what about all the other great bald football stars?

There's the great Bobby Charlton and, erm, Johnny Metgod? He was quite good. Who else...does Jim Smith count?

Okay, so slaphead doesn't always mean success. But for Collina, his hairless bonce has served him like a Filipino bride.

And now he gets the hump when somebody dares to have a giggle about it.